The Shoot

Emily making magic happen.

I approached Katie about this photo shoot like I do all of our collaborations: “I have an idea!” Katie always generously indulges in my artistic adventures. And I cannot forget the brilliant Emily for her assistance, her eye for detail and her honesty as she helped me achieve what I was going for in this project. The three of us dove in head first.

I’ve had a challenging year of health issues, battling fatigue and brain fog that has cut my work schedule in half and pushed the pause button on my dance performance career. I’ve become well-acquainted with my bed. While I am still able to move on my own two feet, something I do not take for granted, my exercise regiment has been reduced to light Pilates, restorative yoga, and walking at a slow and deliberate pace. 

All that to say, I do still have 30+ years of dance training in my bones and 15+ years of practicing Pilates. That strength developed from my soul on out has been carrying me through this year of changes. My body is not the same but I am still me. 

The first part of this shoot was to be present in my body as it is now in the present moment. It’s not chiseled and toned. It cannot get me through one show a week, much less eight–the length of a Broadway week. It cannot jump up and down safely. But it can walk me through this life. It can support my mind and spirit. While I am much slower and still getting used to the limitations, I’m finding the limitless opportunities it is presenting me as I slow my schedule, slow my pace, and become more present. I’m smelling the flowers, if you will. I am learning to accept what is. To not give up, but to give in. 

The second half of the shoot was to capture my essence–what I’ve been stripped down to. Pure personality shining through. Katie has a remarkable way with lighting and capturing the lines of a dancer. And she has known me a long time and was able to capture my inner workings. “There she is,” she laughed at one point. While I was close to tears in the first half, feeling incredibly vulnerable and naked, I was full of silliness, joy and boss-lady energy in the second half. 

I am all of those things. What used to define me to the outside world has been stripped away. But now my spirit has a chance to shine bright. And what a joy it is to be able to express myself freely with my own strong, powerful, resilient body as my canvas.

---